Foreword

Greetings! I'm Molly. This is my first blog experience and I'm pretty dang excited about it. There are a variety of reasons why I've decided to embark on this pseudo-assignment.
I'd like to make it clear that I am not an aspiring photographer, and I don’t pretend to be. Some of my closest friends and family are exceptionally talented in that area, but I can’t say it has ever been a genuine passion of mine.
Onto business. Recently, many of my Facebook friends caught my attention with albums titled “30 day challenge”, in which they followed a list of topics via photos that defined them. All of this for a period of - you guessed it - 30 days. I wanted to pursue this in my own way by making my own ‘list’. (Side note, I have planning this for the past few weeks; likely driving my roommate crazy by scrawling ideas onto paper in the middle of the night.) Regardless, I am excited for my ideas to come to fruition, and truly hope it turns out the way I have been imagining it. I invite you to leave comments on anything I post. I have always been a firm believer that knowing what everyone else thinks, does, in fact, matter. It puts things into perspective and allows us to be well-rounded individuals, which is definitely a quality I would hope to be recognized as.
One primary hesitation I have about this project is ultimately how self-centered it is. Completely. It can be chalked up to self-expression, art, or anything else… but in the end, things like this are primarily concerned with “me” and “I”. I struggle with this in an age of social media. Since the time I had a Myspace at age 16, I began this practice (we began this practice) of showcasing ourselves and finding endless ways to portray how unique we were. With Facebook and Twitter, I find it to be a double-edged sword. I want everyone to see… and yet, I don’t want anyone to see. Sometimes, all I really want, all I really need, is an outlet to mass-communicate my rawest emotions on a medium where no one is guaranteed to see it.
So…yes; with this project, I admit to being yet another self-dissecting 20-something. But I was programmed this way, and I have discovered a lot of important things as a result. This is about being honest with myself, regardless of all outside influences. This isn’t for you or for them, this is for me. It’s a time capsule. How will I feel tomorrow? In a week? a month? A year? Only time will tell.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Day 23: You may have noticed

I have a little something on my chin.
If you haven't yet been introduced, meet my scar. Its been with me for twelve years.
          I remember it as vividly as if it had happened yesterday. It was July, sometime in the late afternoon. When I was nine years old, a friend and I were taking turns riding my bicycle down a steep gravel hill at the cemetery near my house. Those were the days when I wasn't really afraid of anything... mostly because I didn't think of all possible consequences. One of us would go down the hill, disappear from view when the road curved at the bottom, and pedal back up on the parallel street to give the other a turn. After each of us had gone a few times, I decided to pedal as fast as I possibly could. The trees on either side of me were whizzing past, barely recognizable. I saw a pothole approaching and did my best to swerve around it, but inadvertently found myself making contact with a large branch next to it. It all happened so fast: I flew over the handlebars with my arms in front of me in some feeble attempt to brace the fall. In less than a second I skidded front-first for a few feet on the loose gravel. I remember just laying there on my stomach in silence for a moment, taking in what just happened. Then, it hit me. The pain was excruciating; my chin was throbbing, and my chest and knees felt like someone had rubbed them with sandpaper. I started screaming, louder than I can ever remember. Apparently, a neighbor that was my sister's age heard, because all of a sudden he was there, and he scooped me up and started running with me in his arms to my house. I remember looking down and seeing blood making round splotches on the sidewalk below us, but I couldn't really tell where it was coming from.  
          After what seemed like a never-ending drive to the hospital, my dad fainting in the emergency room at the sight of me, and the nurses commenting on my multi-colored fingernails, I was released from the hospital sometime after midnight. The impact of my fall, paired with landing on my chin, had caused a hairline fracture in my jaw and my back molars to chip out. For the first time, I reached and touched my chin and felt the stitches, all seven of them. In addition, my chest and collarbones were covered in deep scratches, as well as my knees. If I remember correctly, the shirt I was wearing that day had holes in it from the abrasion of skidding. In the early recovery days, I remember being very embarrassed at my appearance; I felt like everyone was looking at me in all of the places I didn't want to be noticed. For years after that, my scar would fade a bit every so often but never permanently. Sometimes people would notice it right upon meeting me. Others would bring it up after years of knowing me; What happened to your chin? Everyone has something similar to say about it, such as: It makes you, You or, It gives your face character.  Which, personally, I find that particular comment to only be appropriate when complimenting a grown man. No offense. 
          I guess I really don't notice it anymore. I don't mind having it, for that reason. It obviously makes me feel self-conscious when I can tell that someone notices it for the first time, but then again, I think most of us get uncomfortable when the person we are talking to is looking at something on our face (other than our eyes) in general. I know for a fact that my bike accident has greatly influenced how cautious and hesitant I am today. None of my scars have vanished, including the ones on my knees and collarbones, and I have since accrued many more from various activities. I might just be accident prone; my moped slipped out from under me in the rain a few summers ago while turning a corner. Incidentally, my dad sold it last week. Probably for the best...  
+Marked for life.

5 comments:

  1. I had a similar accident, but probably can't tell when looking at me. I was messing around on some ice with eric weyker. All i can remember is doing a really fast turn while moving around and wham face first into the ice...blacked out. Next thing I know weyker's pulling me up, face just covered in blood draining down my face. Had to go to the hospital to get my eyebrow stitched up. To this day the bone above my eye (that ridge of your forehead) is dented in and puts pressure on my eye. Makes it hard to see somedays. and thats just the one of many scars on my head

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  2. I totally remember the day you got that. Wasn't it Fish Day? Emilee called me almost in tears. She said that you guys were picking daisies in the cemetery, which was supposed to be bad luck, and she thought that she caused your accident.

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  3. Molly - you are exactly right!

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  4. First off, I've never noticed the scar on your chin...even with our height differential.
    Secondly, I had something similar happen to me when i was younger except instead of a bike, I had rollerblades paired with a steep, gravely hill.
    After reading this, the thoughts i had in regards to my incident weren't so much the accident itself or the ensuing pain, but more so my ability to quickly dismiss the event and continue pursuing life without worry. Sure, next time I went rollerblading I was more cautious, however, it didn't stop me from being adventurous and really embracing the moment that was. I would say most of lose touch with that lifestyle as we get older (even at 21!) and it really shouldn't be that way. So here's to hopefully reconnecting with that young individual hiding somewhere inside all of us.

    P.S.
    Your blog has been enjoyable to read, especially when you're studying for a OChem exam. I look forward to the remaining few!

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  5. Never noticed the scar, but your story made me wince on several occasions! I have a similar sized scar on my chin as well, albeit from playing a first half of football against Homestead in 2006. Had to get stitches at a dentist's office - with thick dental sutures - on my chin with little anesthesia. Not fun, and I played the rest of the game with a giant bloody gauze pad spilling out of my chinstrap.

    Love the blog! Most of us can't be so honest, let alone to the internets, so you should be proud of this experiment.

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