Foreword

Greetings! I'm Molly. This is my first blog experience and I'm pretty dang excited about it. There are a variety of reasons why I've decided to embark on this pseudo-assignment.
I'd like to make it clear that I am not an aspiring photographer, and I don’t pretend to be. Some of my closest friends and family are exceptionally talented in that area, but I can’t say it has ever been a genuine passion of mine.
Onto business. Recently, many of my Facebook friends caught my attention with albums titled “30 day challenge”, in which they followed a list of topics via photos that defined them. All of this for a period of - you guessed it - 30 days. I wanted to pursue this in my own way by making my own ‘list’. (Side note, I have planning this for the past few weeks; likely driving my roommate crazy by scrawling ideas onto paper in the middle of the night.) Regardless, I am excited for my ideas to come to fruition, and truly hope it turns out the way I have been imagining it. I invite you to leave comments on anything I post. I have always been a firm believer that knowing what everyone else thinks, does, in fact, matter. It puts things into perspective and allows us to be well-rounded individuals, which is definitely a quality I would hope to be recognized as.
One primary hesitation I have about this project is ultimately how self-centered it is. Completely. It can be chalked up to self-expression, art, or anything else… but in the end, things like this are primarily concerned with “me” and “I”. I struggle with this in an age of social media. Since the time I had a Myspace at age 16, I began this practice (we began this practice) of showcasing ourselves and finding endless ways to portray how unique we were. With Facebook and Twitter, I find it to be a double-edged sword. I want everyone to see… and yet, I don’t want anyone to see. Sometimes, all I really want, all I really need, is an outlet to mass-communicate my rawest emotions on a medium where no one is guaranteed to see it.
So…yes; with this project, I admit to being yet another self-dissecting 20-something. But I was programmed this way, and I have discovered a lot of important things as a result. This is about being honest with myself, regardless of all outside influences. This isn’t for you or for them, this is for me. It’s a time capsule. How will I feel tomorrow? In a week? a month? A year? Only time will tell.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Day 31: Over time, I've become a bit of a

mild germophobe and hypochondriac.
That is, in my own way.    
         I'm not one of those people who goes to pieces when someone sneezes on them, or can't bear to shake hands with another person. I understand that we build up our immune system from exposure to germs, and I'm sure I get my recommended dosage just fine. It's more that I convince myself that something is hazardous, and then react. Maybe half a day after sharing something with someone who is sick, I will realize it, and mysteriously at that moment, my throat will start to feel a little funny. I use bleach wipes on the counter top so often that I'm probably breeding a new resistant bacteria by now. I'm not a hand sanitizer-addict, but I won't say 'no' if it's offered to me. My dentist tells me he's afraid that I'm going to wear the enamel off my teeth if I don't stop brushing so hard.  It's rare not to be a hypochondriac these days, if not a germophobe. This carries over into what I eat as well; there's a lot of questionable ingredients (like trans-fats) on many of the things we consume and I blame them for many of the prevalent health problems that didn't exist 50 years ago. As long as we're in the food category, I have a thing about sharing just about any kind of dairy... it bothers me, and I'm not exactly sure why. Another factor is that I tend to get grossed out at the behaviors of others, but in fairly specific ways; for example, I have to look away when someone is picking their teeth (I'll stop now before I get nauseous). I freak out if my pillow touches the floor, and I avoid anything touching my face at all costs. I never used to be this way... I would eat things off the floor and not think twice about it, and I didn't consider all of the places that bacteria might be lurking. I think the fact that I rarely get sick is due to my over-cautious behavior, as neurotic as it may seem to my friends and family. Let's get one thing straight: I exercise my germ-cautions in a moderately quiet way... like using my foot to flush public toilets. Call this behavior insane if you will, but cleanliness is far better than the alternative, and you know it. 

      Purity is natural. We come into this world with all the right instincts. We are innocent, and therefore perceive things as they should be, rather than how they are. Our conscience is clear, our hands are clean, and the world at large is truly beautiful.

      I can't claim these words to be my own, but I can tell you that I feel like they've been what I've been trying to attain all along, and I try to live by them. Something that I have realized through this project and the professions I've made is that I have been continually striving to be pure in whatever sense of the word that I can. I don't mean that I'm trying to be 'perfect' or that I'm an incessant neat-freak, but moreso that I want the simple things out of life; the undecorated and wholesome things. This could vary from what I consume, to what I believe, and the words that I choose to come out of my mouth. So in a way... all of this germophobe business is more about awareness than anything. If you are aware that there's bad stuff out there, and desire to make a conscious effort to avoid it, no one should really ever blame you for trying.  


I just want what's real.  


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