Foreword

Greetings! I'm Molly. This is my first blog experience and I'm pretty dang excited about it. There are a variety of reasons why I've decided to embark on this pseudo-assignment.
I'd like to make it clear that I am not an aspiring photographer, and I don’t pretend to be. Some of my closest friends and family are exceptionally talented in that area, but I can’t say it has ever been a genuine passion of mine.
Onto business. Recently, many of my Facebook friends caught my attention with albums titled “30 day challenge”, in which they followed a list of topics via photos that defined them. All of this for a period of - you guessed it - 30 days. I wanted to pursue this in my own way by making my own ‘list’. (Side note, I have planning this for the past few weeks; likely driving my roommate crazy by scrawling ideas onto paper in the middle of the night.) Regardless, I am excited for my ideas to come to fruition, and truly hope it turns out the way I have been imagining it. I invite you to leave comments on anything I post. I have always been a firm believer that knowing what everyone else thinks, does, in fact, matter. It puts things into perspective and allows us to be well-rounded individuals, which is definitely a quality I would hope to be recognized as.
One primary hesitation I have about this project is ultimately how self-centered it is. Completely. It can be chalked up to self-expression, art, or anything else… but in the end, things like this are primarily concerned with “me” and “I”. I struggle with this in an age of social media. Since the time I had a Myspace at age 16, I began this practice (we began this practice) of showcasing ourselves and finding endless ways to portray how unique we were. With Facebook and Twitter, I find it to be a double-edged sword. I want everyone to see… and yet, I don’t want anyone to see. Sometimes, all I really want, all I really need, is an outlet to mass-communicate my rawest emotions on a medium where no one is guaranteed to see it.
So…yes; with this project, I admit to being yet another self-dissecting 20-something. But I was programmed this way, and I have discovered a lot of important things as a result. This is about being honest with myself, regardless of all outside influences. This isn’t for you or for them, this is for me. It’s a time capsule. How will I feel tomorrow? In a week? a month? A year? Only time will tell.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day 27: I'm going to be perfectly honest,

I can be one of those 'punks' who thinks the rules don't apply from time to time.
Sometimes, what is 'allowed' feels too structured and withholding.
          I occasionally do things simply because I want to.... until (if) I get caught, at which time I am bitter towards authority and usually regret it, but only because I got caught. It has nothing to do with rebellion or 'sticking it to the man'--- nothing like that. I'm sorry if this offends anyone or changes your opinion of me; its not like I go looking for trouble, ready to wreak havoc on whatever I can find. For the record, I find destructive behavior to be insolent and obnoxious. I don't get my kicks from ruining something or breaking the rules for attention. In fact, that kind of thing usually just upsets me. Furthermore, I don't approach every situation with this paradigm, either. There are just some things that seem to be 'off-limits' for no good reason, and thats what I have a problem with. Personally, I see a disconnect between ethics and laws, and perhaps this is where the problem lies with my conscience about this sort of thing. If I'm cautious and considerate, acting on my own behalf, and not hurting anyone, I really fail to see the point of prohibiting or forbidding something. Regardless of how salt-of-the-earth you think you are, I think everyone has felt this way from time to time. 
         Yes, I understand that when one person goes against a rule, law, policy, etc., it is very different from having a large amount of people do the same. I have always had a slight distrust for police and authority figures in general, and also a keen paranoia when going through security and metal detectors. I don't even have a tangible reason to feel this way; it's not like I carry heat around with me, nor am I a stealthy shoplifter. I've felt it for as long as I can remember, again, without any real reason. In a lot of ways, I distrust someone 'in charge' because I ignorantly assume they are corrupt in some way, or that they want to see someone else fail and be reprimanded. Everyone seems to love a bit of power, and they walk a fine line between exercising it and abusing it. 'Rules' have their place in society; I'm not suggesting anarchy or anything of the sort. I respect a lot of rules that I believe in and see the necessity for their implementation. But perhaps, I am just alluding to the need for more trust and confidence in the common citizen. Most of us aren't all that bad. I really hope that no one misunderstands where I am coming from; I am not an irresponsible or untrustworthy person. I'm not even saying that I am right about this, or that everyone should agree. Simply, I feel that there is a lot of unnecessary restraint on society and I question the motives of putting so many boundaries up.     
We're all a little bit criminal; don't kid yourself.
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