Foreword

Greetings! I'm Molly. This is my first blog experience and I'm pretty dang excited about it. There are a variety of reasons why I've decided to embark on this pseudo-assignment.
I'd like to make it clear that I am not an aspiring photographer, and I don’t pretend to be. Some of my closest friends and family are exceptionally talented in that area, but I can’t say it has ever been a genuine passion of mine.
Onto business. Recently, many of my Facebook friends caught my attention with albums titled “30 day challenge”, in which they followed a list of topics via photos that defined them. All of this for a period of - you guessed it - 30 days. I wanted to pursue this in my own way by making my own ‘list’. (Side note, I have planning this for the past few weeks; likely driving my roommate crazy by scrawling ideas onto paper in the middle of the night.) Regardless, I am excited for my ideas to come to fruition, and truly hope it turns out the way I have been imagining it. I invite you to leave comments on anything I post. I have always been a firm believer that knowing what everyone else thinks, does, in fact, matter. It puts things into perspective and allows us to be well-rounded individuals, which is definitely a quality I would hope to be recognized as.
One primary hesitation I have about this project is ultimately how self-centered it is. Completely. It can be chalked up to self-expression, art, or anything else… but in the end, things like this are primarily concerned with “me” and “I”. I struggle with this in an age of social media. Since the time I had a Myspace at age 16, I began this practice (we began this practice) of showcasing ourselves and finding endless ways to portray how unique we were. With Facebook and Twitter, I find it to be a double-edged sword. I want everyone to see… and yet, I don’t want anyone to see. Sometimes, all I really want, all I really need, is an outlet to mass-communicate my rawest emotions on a medium where no one is guaranteed to see it.
So…yes; with this project, I admit to being yet another self-dissecting 20-something. But I was programmed this way, and I have discovered a lot of important things as a result. This is about being honest with myself, regardless of all outside influences. This isn’t for you or for them, this is for me. It’s a time capsule. How will I feel tomorrow? In a week? a month? A year? Only time will tell.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 29: It's amazing,

what our minds can convince us.
You start to wonder who's really in charge.
          I almost get to the point where I think of myself as invincible; that nothing can shake me, and that I am unbreakable. I can understand if this comes off insensitively, but the thought has crossed my mind that if I was ever diagnosed with a serious disease or illness, I would be able to rely on my mind to get me through it, and in a way, cure myself. It sounds crazy, I'm sure. But you never really think that you'll allow yourself to get to that point. So you think, If I get sick, I 'll just make myself better. If I'm feeling depressed, I'll just find a way to be happy. If I break something, it'll be fixed in no time. When it does happen, you can't remember how things used to be before that. In reality, things are never this simple, nor as black and white. Yet our mind can convince us of almost anything. Sometimes, this is to our advantage. We can convince ourselves that we don't have stage fright, we aren't feeling under the weather, we aren't overwhelmed, and we aren't scared. Other times, we convince ourselves to our disadvantage; we aren't in denial, we don't have an issue, and we certainly don't care.
        It's easy to read into things, and to perceive reality in an exaggerated way. In the end, we will allow ourselves to believe whatever we want to believe. We legitimize feeling a certain way or having a certain opinion because it feels strange not to have an answer for everything. Sometimes, we don't even care if it's right or wrong; we just need to label something for our own comfort and sanity. There is no room in our minds for unfinished, incompleteness... so we fill in the gaps and blanks on our own, and are satisfied with whatever we can come up with.  
You see what you want to see.
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1 comment:

  1. Brian the wise sageMarch 29, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    I sometimes think I am invincible, can't be touched! That I can overcome any sort of physical trauma. Like regrow a limb or get up after being knocked down by anything. It's a natural part of youth, to build so much on your success. To see yourself grow and just run off on a tangent.

    Who knows molly maybe you are invincible!

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